Ex Wingman 

The Pick Up Artist and One Night Stands

Let's talk about One Night Stands.

It wasn't until I had a couple solid pickups that I started to really understand how easy all this really could be. Looking back, I realize now that those initial successes were the start of a major "bad belief overhaul."

I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in bed.

I also started to think of myself as an attractive, desirable guy (even though I'm far from what's typically considered good-looking).

Now about 75% of my students come to me with one main goal - they want to sleep with more women. The other half are looking for someone special. As I've said before, I don't think these goals are mutually exclusive.

You see, if you're looking for one special girl, you're gonna have to meet a good amount of woman so you can make the best choice. And if you don't know how to meet women, this can be a daunting task.

There's a very common phase that every good pickup artist goes through when he gets started. He begins learning new ways of thinking and behaving, and lo and behold, he starts meeting and sleeping with a LOT OF WOMEN. He's like a kid in a candy store, taking full advantage of his new powers!

This period of learning is necessary, or at least it was for me in order to snap out of my old way of thinking, and internalize my new reality - that I am attractive and woman want to sleep with me.

So it's important that you have a few really fast, casual sensual encounters, in order to get the ball rolling on forming new beliefs. I'm talking about one-night stands, same day lays, whatever you want to call it.

Now if you've never had a one night stand, or maybe got lucky a couple of times when you were drunk, having a one-night stands 'at-will' can seem just as out-of-reach as having a great girlfriend.

But it's actually pretty easy, if you know what you are doing.

The crappy thing is, a lot of guys make it WAY too hard on themselves, and never get those initial sexual experiences that help them to really feel like a "natural."

If you're reading this, then you are interested in getting not only BETTER with woman, but you want to MASTER THE GAME. Mastery comes from within - it starts with a mindset, and leads to external results, which then form NEW BELIEFS in your mind. These new beliefs become the foundation for your new reality, where you naturally attract women without even thinking about it.

First of all, if you're going for a one-night stand, there's one thing you need to know -- You won't always be able to get the hottest girl in the venue to go home with you. You can get a solid number from her, but whether or not a woman is open to going home with a guy on a particular night varies widely.

However, in any bar, club, or even a day-time situation, there are LOTS of horny women who would be open to getting down with you that same day or night. You just have to know how to spot these women.

I look for a few things - first, I notice how they are dressed, how much makeup they have on, etc. If they look like they put a lot of work in to being pretty, it was for a reason. They want to be approached. This of course, isn't always true, but is generally the case.

I also look for women who are being loud and animated. They are subconsciously looking for attention from men.

Lastly, I look for women who are looking around the room more than the other girls in their group. A lot of times, you'll see groups of two or three women all standing around with blank expressions, scoping the room. They are basically putting themselves out there, waiting for someone to approach them.

Now when you approach, take it easy - don't go in full-steam running your clever routines and your cocky frame control stuff. Just be light, social, and let them know you are interested in meeting them. A simple "Hey, you guys look great tonight. Special occasion?" is enough.

The key here is not to openly discuss getting in sensual or that you are looking to take her home. You see, if you talk about that, you'll put her on the spot and make her agree to bang with you, implicitly.

Instead you want to build sensual tension, as we discuss heavily in our workshops.

This is against her "rules" and will force her to keep you at a distance. You're also going to need logistical information, so that you can figure out how to get her back to your place when the time comes.

The real key to all this is subtracting any overt sensual intention, and not trying to pick her up. You have to be willing to let go of controlling the situation, and just enjoy yourself, while escalating appropriately. It may sound counter intuitive, but that's how it works.

You have to trust that women wants to get in bed, and that a lot of the women in the venue wants to lay NOW. Some won't, but some will, and that's why it's key that you get a sense of what to look for, and how to proceed.

You don't want to invest a bunch of time with the wrong girl, or worse, to pick the RIGHT girl, and then mess it up after a lengthy interaction. That's a HUGE waste of time.

About the author: Vin DiCarlo is an international dating coach, and the founder and CEO of DiCarlo DiClassified. He has trained thousands of clients spanning four continents and continues to tour the globe improving the lives of men of all ages. He currently resides in Boston, MA and enjoys jazz, mixed martial arts and travel.

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